How to escape from “adulting fatigue” and become a calmer, more relaxed person.
Overwhelmed, drained, spent — how well do these words describe your reality? Arriving at this state is actually not that uncommon. As a matter of fact, it’s easy; you just have to be … an adult.
Most of us live similar lives; we spend eight hours a day at work, then come home to a variety of responsibilities including cooking, cleaning, caretaking, socializing and maybe a visit to the gym, along with the endless list of other tasks that consume our time and energy. Generally speaking, we spend our weekdays in one monotonous routine and then fill our weekends with lists of things we can’t seem to check off during our full week. Most of us allocate a disproportionate amount of time taking care of others: our families, our pets, our customers — the list goes on.
Spending so much time immersed in the “must do’s” of life and nurturing everyone in our circle eventually catches up with us and we become overwhelmed, drained and spent. We become exhausted from life’s priorities. In other words, we have “adulting fatigue.”
Most people think they are doing it right, having prioritized what matters most and unable to see a life without the necessary activities. Rarely resentful of how they are spending their time, many report actually enjoying the activities that are ultimately bankrupting them. Even the things that are not pleasurable are logical.
But why do we spend so much time listless and depleted? Why at the end of the day are we exhausted and can’t make a simple decision like what we should eat?
The answer? We are starving our souls.
When people take inventory of everything they do in a week, there is a limited slice of the pie that reflects time spent in true self-care, a state of pure enjoyment and release — the state of soul feeding. Sure, we prioritize ourselves with our daily hygiene routine, eating and exercising, but there is a difference between activities that are personal care and those that truly feed the soul. Soul feeding not only produces joy; it produces calmness, tranquility, serenity and clarity. Soul feeding erases worries, pressures and tension — even if done only temporarily. When the soul is fed, there will be some time of pure release. You breathe more slowly, walk lighter and take deeper breaths. Your muscles relax, you have increased energy — you feel rejuvenated.
The path to a fed soul is different for everyone and may take multiple attempts to find what works best. Just don’t give up trying. When you first start, you will probably find that a list creeps into your mind or you start thinking about what else you could be doing. Put that to the side as soon as you realize it’s happening. When you are soul feeding, you must designate that time to be free of lists, expectations, worries or guilt — focus on only you.
Start by choosing something that interests you, maybe things you have enjoyed in the past, or something you’ve always wanted to try. A few ideas to try include:
Nature activities
Hiking, gardening, bird watching.
Spiritual activities
Prayer, meditation, yoga.
Physical activities
Team sports, individual sports, exercise classes.
Artistic activities
Drawing, writing, music making, dancing.
Others
Reading, cooking, watching movies or TV shows.
Anything can feed your soul; you simply have to make time for it and allow yourself to experience the fullness. Do you enjoy watching water flow in a rhythmic pattern? Head to the beach and watch the ocean, concentrating on the tide rolling in and out, the waves crashing and reaching the shore. Or sit down and watch your children play, giggling and just enjoying themselves. Just sitting there, watching their joy, is bound to bring about a connection to what it means to enjoy the moment.
Next time you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed out, make an intentional reservation to feed your soul. Choose an activity, dedicate some time and release the expectations. Small bites of soul feeding can provide the nutrients we need to sustain us as we love and serve our tribes. Go ahead — indulge in some food for the soul.