What does your chipped coffee mug have to do with your energy level?
How blissful would it be if you could eliminate ninety percent of your daily irritations? Imagine opening your front door without that annoying squeak, always being able to find your car keys and having matching lids for all of your food storage containers. Do you already feel more energetic as you envision a day free of irritations?
What’s Irritating You?
Irritations, also called tolerations, can vary from minor ones that are easily resolved to those that are complex and might take a year to work through. I classify tolerations into three categories: objects, projects and foundations. If you were looking around a room, you would see objects in need of repair. Object irritations have straightforward fixes, such as replacing a chipped coffee mug. Project irritations might not be as obvious to the eye. They have multi-stepped solutions and may require the help of others. Examples are painting a shabby room, writing your will or getting your finances in order. Foundational irritations relate to the pillars of your well-being, such as health, time for self-care, quality of relationships and career satisfaction. Resolving a foundational irritation might take months of focus, emotional energy, and support from others. There are different strategies for dealing with each of these types of irritations, but the main benefit of eliminating any of them is that it increases your energy.
Thought Detours Zap Your Energy
What does your chipped coffee mug have to do with your energy level? Whenever you run up against an irritation, it interrupts the flow of your forward actions and sends you on a thought detour. Thought detours sound like “I should…” or “I need to…” When you pick up that chipped coffee mug, instead of savoring your first sip, you think: “I should replace this mug.” Such negative self-talk breaks your happy mood, halting your progress and reducing your positive energy. Imagine, instead, sipping your coffee from a mug that is beautiful and fits perfectly in your hands. With this small change, you are now greeting the morning with more clarity of purpose. As you stop tolerating irritations, your day will no longer be hijacked by thought detours and negativity. The end result is a positive feedback loop. With each eliminated toleration, we gain positive energy that can be used to zap more irritations.
Make a List
Let’s get started on your energy boost by creating your list of object, project and foundation irritations. If you are unsure whether something qualifies as an irritation, ask yourself: Does this bother me? Would my quality of life be improved if I eliminated it? One approach is to pay attention every time you think to yourself “I should…” or “I need to…” and then write down whatever completes that sentence. Another strategy is to systematically go through each sphere of life and note anything that you are tolerating: home (all the objects in your house, the structure of your home, your yard), health (self-care, having fun, physician appointments), finances (debt, retirement plan, your will) and relationships (family, friends, co-workers).
Break it Down into Manageable Steps
Here are some recent examples of removing object irritations from my life to inspire your list. I untangled the necklaces in my jewelry box, I bought new pens so I wasn’t always searching for one that worked and I added a lot of music to my phone to make exercising more fun. If you find yourself writing down “organize playroom,” that is a project-level irritation which needs to be broken down into more manageable tasks. “Throw out broken toys”, “buy new storage bins” and “go through magic markers” are doable, whereas “organize playroom” is a multi-stepped project that will seem overwhelming. The key to attacking projects is to clearly identify the sequence of steps, which may start with something very simple, like relocating a phone number that someone gave you.
Separate the Categories
Once you have a list of irritations, separate them into the three categories. Then choose ten from the object list to work on first, since they are the easiest to eliminate. With each one that you eradicate, you will feel a sense of accomplishment and a boost of energy. As you clear away the list of object irritations, the possibility of attacking more complicated tolerations becomes a realistic challenge, instead of a paralyzing black hole.
Strategies
Strategies for zapping the irritations that you have identified and selected include asking for help, setting aside time and spending money. Do you have a friend who is a whiz at organizing? Can you take a weekend to resolve your ten irritations? How much money are you willing to part with to rid yourself of each irritation? A client of mine was avoiding sitting on her old couch because it gave her back pain. The first step was for her to recognize that she was tolerating a dysfunctional couch and should solve this irritation to boost her energy. The strategy we worked out involved getting help, setting aside time and spending money. First, she invited a friend with good design taste over for a consult. Then she arranged for a babysitter so that she could have time to shop and be able to focus while at to the furniture showroom. She discussed the budget with her partner and arranged for donation of the old couch. She once again enjoys her evenings on the couch with her family and favorite TV shows.
Start with Object Irritations
Eliminating object irritations is the easiest place to get a big energy boost. As I untangled my necklaces, not only did I finally have some jewelry to wear, but I realized the tangled mess was a metaphor for my irritations. Teasing each necklace out, I could see more clearly how to extricate the rest of them, and with each freed strand the overall problem become more solvable.