Written by Katie Gilstrap
Q:
My aging mother is going through some changes, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s time to consider assisted living. How do I know if it’s the right time, and what should I look for when considering a senior community?
A:
You are not alone. Millions of people find themselves right where you are—worried and wondering if it is the right time to talk to their loved one about moving into an assisted living community. The truth is that there is never a perfect time. But there are a few steps you can take to help make life a little easier for everyone.
When determining if it is the right time to have the conversation, ask yourself, is your loved one…
- Thriving in his or her current situation?
- Eating regularly and interacting with friends and family on a regular basis?
- In need of help with medication, bathing or dressing?
You may also want to consider “continuing care” options. These describe the full continuum of care available to your loved one (including independent and assisted living, nursing and memory care as well as rehabilitation services). Communities that offer a complete continuum of care are called Continuing Care Retirement Communities (CCRCs).
These can be great options for people who no longer want the responsibility of maintaining a home and who want the peace of mind associated with knowing that as they age, they won’t need to move to a new place to address progressing needs.
When considering a CCRC…
- Ask about admission criteria. Not all admit new residents at any level of care.
- Understand how the care program progresses. Ask whether your loved one will need to move to a new apartment when transitioning from independent to assisted living, or if services will be brought to their existing apartment.
- Evaluate the fee structure. Is there an entrance fee? Some communities charge a substantial fee upon admission, guaranteeing the care of your loved one regardless of any changes in finances. If that option doesn’t make sense for your family, some communities do provide CCRC services without the entrance fee.
When choosing a community…
- Try the food! Talk with residents who live there and meet the staff.
- Ask about support services for the whole family. Staff should serve as a helpful resource to you as your family goes through this journey.
When having the conversation with your loved one…
- Put yourself in his or her shoes, and listen with empathy and respect.
- Attend to the individual’s feelings and body language. Support his or her preferred plan of care.
- Get your wish list together in advance of the conversation and work with your loved one to support his or her wish list.
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Susan Cantrell from The Hermitage and Sarah Simmons from The Crossings at Bon Air (senior communities in the Richmond area) contributed to this article.
