Written By Brandy Centolanza
I’ve been reading too many articles lately about “super moms” and “the mommy wars,” and each one of them has made me cringe. All these articles do is leave women with the feeling of guilt about what they do or don’t do or who they are or aren’t on any given day, and what good does that do anybody? I’m of the belief that you can have it all, just not all at once, and that it’s really about moderation, finding balance and keeping your priorities in check. And, of course, each day is different. A good day for me (yesterday, for example) is finding time to workout (I squeezed in a walk and a class at the rec center), do a few chores (I vacuumed and mopped the floors, blah), do some work (I did some research for an upcoming article), have a little “me” time (I caught up on General Hospital on my lunch break), spend time with my family (We talked about our day during dinner and then played a little Phase Ten before bedtime reading), and spend time with my husband, just the two of us (We enjoyed a glass of wine after the kids went to bed). Certainly, not every day is like this for me, but every day I strive to find some balance in the important aspects of my life. I want my children to know that with anything moderation is the key. I want them to know that it is okay to have a job, but not okay to bring the office home with you or neglect your family to further your career. It is okay to play video games and text your friends, but not at the dinner table. It is okay to exercise, but not okay to put your child in the day care at the gym for three hours so you can hit the gym every morning. It’s okay to enjoy an ice cream cone or a piece of cheesecake with your child, but not for every meal. As my kids grow, and especially now that the new school year is underway, I hope to show them how to find balance in their own lives when it comes to homework, extracurricular activities, their social life and their family. And when my daughter one day becomes a mother, I hope it’s at a time when all mothers realize that it is simply about finding that balance and not about having it all. At the very least, I hope to teach my daughter to ignore “the mommy wars” because that’s a battle where there is never going to be any winner.