Kindergarten is a big deal for parents and children alike. Often, it’s the first time a child has been away from home or a caregiver for the majority of the day, so there’s bound to be some separation anxiety for everyone. The change in routine, socialization, academic expectations, and newfound independence can be overwhelming at first. Here’s some advice:
I Can’t Let My Baby Go!
You may be the one crying in the parking lot while your little one is hamming it up with his new classmates. Suddenly, you question if he is really ready or whether he will be able to use the restroom by himself or remember to drink all his milk. Sandi Edmondson,
a Pre-Kindergarten teacher at Churchland Preschool Center realizes it may be tough for parents to say goodbye to their kindergarteners.
“I typically phone parents as soon as I get my roster to introduce myself,” says Edmondson. “I then share my contact information and let them call if they are concerned.” It’s essential that parents take advantage of open communication with their teachers as it really helps in the transition. There are so many avenues that make it easy to stay in touch. Find out if your teacher prefers texting, email, or phone calls.
Don’t Leave Me!
Some children are so excited the night before kindergarten they can’t sleep, while other children may be tearful and clingy the first few days or even weeks. “The crying doesn’t last long,” Edmondson states. “Structure, routine and visualization help the transition process.” Your child may hold on tight and demand to go home, but hold strong; this too shall pass. “Many times, if you leave your child at the door, regardless of their temperament, they will adjust within the next 15 minutes,” says Beth Rosenbleeth, founder of Days with Grey, an educational website that helps viewers integrate Kindergarten concepts with preschoolers. Keep in mind that teachers have been trained to deal with the specific situations and they will handle it far better than an emotional parent who feels guilty for leaving. Rosenbleeth recommends saying goodbye and allowing the teacher to take over.
My Child is Starving!
You may notice your child is starving when she gets home. Eating at school is dictated by a strict schedule, but she’s used to eating snacks and meals at her own pace at home. In addition, lunchtime may be too early after breakfast and she’s not hungry yet, or too late and she had a snack in class.
The cafeteria may seem overwhelming at first. It smells different than her kitchen at home and it’s usually loud with boisterous activity. Your child may not feel comfortable with eating in that atmosphere right away. “I suggest that lunches are kept simple, with only the amount of food that their child can reasonably eat in a half-hour period,” says Edmondson.
“I also encourage parents to include the child in the process of packing a lunch. That way the child will eat because they have packed the food that they already like.” You may see an empty lunch box upon returning home, but teachers see a lot of trading and food tossed in the trash. She may be ferocious because she didn’t eat or gave away what was in her lunch box. Consider packing a snack for the commute home.
Where’s My Blankie?
Parents tend to put a lot of emphasis on being a “big kid” before a child enters kindergarten. Good intentions, but they may backfire in some children and cause them to regress. Parents may notice a renewed interest in a blankie, stuffed bear, or a return to thumb-sucking. Edmondson suggests the children may want to be “babied” a little while longer. “I would recommend that parents prepare for some changes and try to keep things as structured and normal as possible.”
What Happened to My Sweet Baby?
Be warned, your previously sweet angel may come home exceptionally cranky in the first few weeks. “As a teacher, I would hear this all the time,” says Rosenbleeth speaking of the sudden change in demeanor. “I would sing a child’s praises, and the parent would respond that they are not acting the same at home.” Kindergarteners are thrust into a new schedule with academic and social interactions that often take them out of their comfort zone. “It is possible that they “use up” all their good behavior at school,” says Rosenbleeth.
It’s Going to Be Fine.
Take advantage of the back-to-school open houses. Visit the classroom and take a few minutes to speak with the teacher. Encourage your child to ask his teacher questions. Visit the bathroom and make sure your child knows how to close the bathroom door, flush the toilet and wash his hands. Take a peek at the cafeteria and playground. Show him where the drop-off and pick-up spots are for the bus. Make sure he knows how to fasten his buttons and zip up a coat. If he can’t tie his shoes yet, consider getting Velcro ones. Your child may have a few bumps along the way at first, but after the first few weeks, he will settle into his new routine and will look forward to school.