As I write this, it’s been more than 65 days since the last time I have been at school, and at least 40 since I have seen my friends regularly.
Like many other teens, I have always been a busy bee. I wake up at 6 a.m. to go to school, then go to run cross country or track. That’s followed often by work or volunteering, only to return home at 10 p.m. to stay up for two hours doing homework. Then I repeat it all the next day. Sure, this can be challenging, but it has been my life for the last three years. I’ve grown accustomed to my enervating schedule.
When school let out on Thursday, March 12, none of us knew that was going to be the last day of the 2019-2020 school year. As a genuinely exhausted student-athlete, I felt a sense of relief when they announced the two-week break. Five hours of sleep each night is not enough for someone as active as me. I was looking forward to giving myself time to recharge and prepare for the rest of the year. Little did I know.
The two weeks went by and we approached the third, our scheduled spring break. At this point, people were 50/50 on whether or not we would be returning. When I heard that the break was to be extended another month my heart sank, and I lost all hope that we would go back to school. To make matters worse, the stay-at-home order was placed around this time. I think I speak for all teenagers when I say that I felt trapped.
Everything Changed
With the coronavirus putting things on hold, I no longer go to school, practice or even work. I would almost say that I have too much time on my hands. It’s hard to get out of bed when I know that I have nothing planned for the day.
Writing a to-do list each morning has been the most important change I have made to my now very flexible schedule.
My feelings toward this situation shift every day. Some days I can distract myself with cleaning or other household activities, and everything seems to be okay. Then there are days where I feel lonely, stuck and can only think about the what-ifs. What if we don’t go back to school for the fall of my senior year? What if I never race with my teammates again? What if I never eat inside of a restaurant again? What if life never returns to normal? These thoughts are constantly running through my head as I think about how many times I took it all for granted.
Being a junior in high school, I think about how this will affect the college admissions process and my future in general. Ever since middle school we have been told that junior year is the most important academic year of high school, and I just spent half of it completing busy work online. All of the college visits I had planned were cancelled, and I didn’t even get the chance to schedule a few of them. I spent weeks studying for the ACT, and now many colleges may not even consider our scores. I can’t help but wonder how all of this will affect my chances of getting into the universities that I’ve been looking at for months. There are so many unknowns that make this scary and intimidating.
Not only do I worry about the future, but I also think about what I have already missed. I never got to attend my junior prom. I never got to train or compete in my junior track season. I never got to see my senior friends graduate. It is hard to keep a smile on my face when I miss out on so many important events.
Looking for the Bright Side
That being said, I do my best to look for the positive in every situation. We are so lucky to have the advanced technology that we do today. Most teenagers have cell phones, so we are able to communicate with our friends, teachers and acquaintances in some way, shape or form. I feel very lucky to own a phone and laptop where I can pretend things are normal at times. And a little bit of normalcy does help ― for instance, I had already bought my prom dress months ago, so on the day that prom was scheduled I dressed up with a close friend at home. My childhood is fast approaching its end, and I don’t want to miss out on anything more than I have to.
I also try to stay consistent with running on my own. My coach posts weekly mileage goals, so I use that for my motivation. Being a team captain, I check in with my teammates every now and then, but it’s not the same as if we were practicing together.
While this is an insanely difficult and unpredictable situation, I think it’s important for everyone to continue to follow suggested precautions and to not give up hope that this will all be resolved in time. We are all in this together, and if we do the things necessary to end the spread of the coronavirus, we can slowly begin our lives again. I am most looking forward to getting my running buddies back for the summer, considering it is an important training season. I am hoping that we can meet for practices and gatherings to continue working on our team’s bond.
I can confidently say that this experience has been eye opening. It has made me appreciate my busy and overbearing schedule, the painfully early mornings for school and so much more. I will come out of this mentally stronger, and I hope others will too.
