Taking in the enormity of your holiday obligations, you wonder how you got into this predicament. Seven parties, three school concerts, a non-profit gala, cookies for the office, gifts, entertaining and visiting family. How are you going to make it to the other side of New Year’s without gaining eight pounds, incurring debt and becoming resentful? Helping everyone and giving to every cause comes with high personal costs. Wouldn’t it be great if you could manage your obligations while being kind to yourself and actually enjoy the holidays?
Volunteering: Pace Yourself
Holiday activities are special, but what if schools, clubs, religious organizations and neighborhoods all request your help with parties, fundraising and concerts?
- Spread your volunteering out across the calendar. Have a “sanity” deadline, such as not volunteering after December 15th.
- Take on one big obligation and make that your contribution for the season.
- Streamline your contributions. If you are required to help with multiple organizations, do the same thing for all of them. If you bring juice or decorations for every event, you only have to make one trip to the store.
- Remember how much you do throughout the year; you don’t have to do it all in December.
- What would you tell your best friend to do? We often have kinder advice for our friends than for ourselves.
Spending: Stop the flow of money and stay within your budget
Organizations take advantage of this generous time of year. Between hosting events, buying gifts and donating to charitable causes, you might feel like your wallet is hemorrhaging.
- Have a standard hostess gift that fits into your budget, such as tea or flowers.
- Shop with cash so that you see what you are spending. Or, put a limit on your debit card and only take that card shopping.
- Create a budget for the holidays. Decide beforehand how much you will spend on each person or event.
- Set a reminder on your phone of the consequences of overspending. “No movies until June if you blow the bank.”
Eating: Prevent over-indulgence
Extra social events mean opportunities for over-eating. Are those cookies at the potluck really worth the calories?
- Don’t go to a party hungry. Eat something healthy beforehand so that you aren’t tempted by enticing options.
- Skipping dessert is easier if you ask a friend to walk down the dessert-free path with you.
- Control your drinking. Once you have had too much alcohol, portion control and wise decision-making cease.
- Drink water, seltzer or light beer to cut down on calories.
- Have healthy soup for dinner or add extra exercise for some caloric leeway. Be realistic. If you treat yourself occasionally, it will be easier to stick with your plan.
Travel: Limiting holiday travel
With relatives spread all over the place, how can you avoid spending precious days on the highway?
- Plan to see family members in January when it will be more relaxing and less expensive. Make a rule: “We don’t travel for Thanksgiving.”
- Invite family to visit you.
- Skyping in for a quality conversation with your relatives is better than not visiting at all.
Entertaining: Let go of being the perfect hostess
You want to host a party, but it’s so much work.
- Make it a potluck to reduce stress and focus on friends during the party.
- Hire someone to clean your home before or after entertaining.
- Invite close friends over an hour before the party to help with last minute details.
- Decorate and set the table the day before.
- Choose tried-and-true recipes that can be prepared ahead of time.
- Hire a babysitter to give you extra time before or during the party.
Shift your thinking so that self-compassion is not an act of selfishness, but rather a way for everyone to have a better holiday. Adequate self-care ensures that you can give without resentment.