“My motto was ‘Rise up and be a badass,’” says Miki Fett with a smile. It was a smile that conveyed the sense of humor of the woman behind it, but also represented her strength and resiliency. A little over 17 months ago, Miki, an Army wife and mother of two young boys, Jesse (9) and Jack (3), was diagnosed with breast cancer, and the remarkable way she handled her diagnosis and subsequent treatment will inspire you.
Miki was breastfeeding her youngest son, Jack, now a spunky 3-year-old, when she felt a lump in her breast. She thought it was a clogged milk duct, but her husband, Garret, insisted she get it checked out. She was diagnosed with breast cancer a few days later after visiting her doctor for a mammogram and biopsy.
“On March 2, 2016 I got my diagnosis,” explains Miki. “On March 30 I had my first of eight rounds of chemotherapy. On Sept. 9, I had a bilateral mastectomy and in February had reconstruction surgery. I’m now working on finding a new normal.”
When asked how her diagnosis impacted her psychologically, Miki, understandably, describes the first few weeks as difficult. She says at first she felt like she was making people uncomfortable, especially when she began to lose her hair. She feared not being accepted. But, as she went through treatment her confidence grew and her outlook on the situation changed for the better.
“Throughout everything I put my head down and plowed through,” she says. “Chemo was every other week, so we knew the following weekend would be a bad one. So, we lived for the good weekends. Our world was rocked. Nothing looked the same anymore. The little things were suddenly more important and we looked for the positives rather than the negatives.”
Miki now will stop doing household chores to join her boys in a puzzle or game, something she might not have done before her diagnosis.
Her sons — it’s worth adding — are charming and very well-behaved. Miki says they handled the diagnosis well. And although Jack was too young at the time to fully understand, it’s clear her oldest son, Jesse, now 9, grasped that her diagnosis was potentially life-altering.
“We didn’t say anything [to the kids] during the testing,” Miki says. “My husband and I told them I was sick together, but not to be scared. Jesse took it in stride and was more empathetic to me, giving me hugs more often.” When Miki involved herself with Beyond Boobs (now called Here For The Girls), a support network for women battling breast cancer, Jesse volunteered alongside her. He even participated in the 5k run at Run For The Hills, a fundraising event for the organization, and donated his time and hard-earned money to the cause. “It makes me happy knowing that they appreciated the help,” he says.
Miki says that the support she received from Here For The Girls is what inspired
her “rise up” motto, which she’s reminded of with an abstract bird tattoo on her left forearm. Her experience as a military wife also played a role, giving her strength while going through treatment. She explains that being a military spouse often makes people more resilient, adaptable and accepting of change.
The military community also proved to be a great support system for Miki. She says she had a friend or family member staying with her during each of her chemo treatments, and all but two were friends she’d made through Garret’s service. She had girlfriends come from as far away as Hawaii and Japan to sit with her, as well as help out around the house and get the kids to school.
Garret, of course, was a large source of support for Miki, too. “He took on making all the calls, doing the research and asking the doctors questions,” she says. “He’s a doer.” She says Garret, despite his demanding job as a major in the U.S. Army, made a point of adding more fun to their lives throughout her treatment and took on a more active role within both the family and the community.
“It’s like he thought, ‘if I can’t fix you, I’ll fix something else,’” she adds.
Miki has now been “fixed,” and if you saw her, you’d never know she was sick until she told you. But her experience with breast cancer has its lasting impacts one being a new perspective on life.
“I focus more on what I have rather than what I don’t have — there’s no comparing myself to others,” she says. She also claims to have a bit more grace, allowing herself to be “perfectly imperfect.” TPMG Her message to others? “Don’t let other people tell you how to navigate the journey. Make it your own. Stay positive, reach out to others and know that there is life after this. You will find a new normal.”
Photos by Kristen Vann Bryant