Communication for Couples: 9 Tips for Getting the Love You Want
Relationship on the rocks? Not getting the love you want? Take this advice from
therapist Dr. Renee del Rio Heyliger of Williamsburg Behavioral Arts.
Make it a priority // Just as you schedule work and meetings, plan time to work on your relationship. It’s also important to create a shared relationship vision so you head in the right direction.
Learn how to communicate // If your partner is talking, then actively listen. Schedule a time to discuss a “hot topic.” This deserves your full attention and, if one or both of you are preoccupied, a difficult discussion may only get worse.
Fight fair // Research has shown that disagreements can be healthy, but “low blows” can be detrimental to a relationship.
Be open to receive // Make sure you remain open to receive all the benefits a healthy relationship can offer. For some, receiving unconditional love can be just as challenging as giving it.
Speak your partner’s love language // Some people feel loved when they receive physical affection. For others, it may be romantic words or kind gestures. Find out what fills your partner’s love tank. When their tank is full they’ll have more to give.
Observe yourself // It’s easy to blame your partner when your needs aren’t met; however, every reaction involves a counter reaction. What can you do to make it safer for your partner to be the person you need and deserve?
Carry the past with you // Keep a childhood photo of your partner nearby. It will be easier to remember that, just like you, they have been influenced by their early relationships and they need your help to grow and change.
Have fun // Enjoying deep belly laughs with your partner can create a level of intimate connection similar to sexual intimacy.
Be your best self // No one complains about a partner who is whole, healthy and joyful.
Not getting the love you want? Join Dr. Heyliger for a two-day couples’ workshop
held at the Woodlands Conference Center in Colonial Williamsburg. Find details
on the calendar.
